My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's blow job season.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
