I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
