I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We got so high we made milksteak
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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