dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
