I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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