i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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