i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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