I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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