Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
