hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
