He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
