so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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