FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
