Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize