we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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