I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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