Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
