Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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