We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
