He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
