Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize