i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
