I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
don't judge my taste in strippers
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
