trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
