I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
