So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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