Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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