hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
