The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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