Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize