honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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