WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
