For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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