The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
