New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
