I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
