ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Panties = found
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
