I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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