I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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