Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
