just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
