Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
