Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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