cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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