she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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