yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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