As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
