a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
