Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
