As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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