I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
