thus making me awesome and them whores
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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