She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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