considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
handjob tips. give me some.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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