ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
