I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
