i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
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