Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
