remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
