Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize