What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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