I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
