Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize