you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize