Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
