I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
