I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
