TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
im six kinds of drunk right now
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
