it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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