evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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