Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
and she was petting her beer can
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just high enough for therapy.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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