youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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