O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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