I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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