He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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