Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
