I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Your face is a jimmy john
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
