Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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