I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
