Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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