The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
