Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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