Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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