Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
