he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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