I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The air taste purple.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
