Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
