I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
